After more than a year of uninterrupted working from home, I have to admit that I still don’t feel like I have it all together a lot of days. When I was going to work every day, the boundaries were defined by about 25 miles of highway. When I hit the road, it was time to go from one mode to the other.

Working from home, I have to find a way to make that distinction while constantly looking at all of the household things that need to be taken care of while I’m working or listening to the computer nagging me to check my email “just one more time” as I’m getting our home ready to turn in for the night.

Unfortunately, the truth is that for many work at home moms, it’s not really possible to shut off from the responsibilities of home or work, so we learn to adapt. Over the course of the past two weeks, I’ve somehow managed to find a method that works for our home without trying. I’m not saying that to brag, but more to share my amazement at the past week of being productive both “at work” and “at home.”

Be a List Maker

There are two types of people in the world: those who make lists and those who refuse to make lists. Okay, so there are at least three types of people because I fall into the third category, those who love to make lists but aren’t good at using lists.

Last week, I got a cute little notebook to write down my optimization clients each day. I had figured out I was staying on task when I wrote them all down in the morning but the scraps of paper had a tendency to walk away and return to me with toddler art blocking out many of the names.

One night, I sat down to make my list for the following day, my list of work projects, and when I was done it included things like dishes, laundry and mopping randomly sandwiched between projects. Rather than rip out the page and start the list over (I’m weird and wouldn’t expect you to understand why I feel the need to start over when something little isn’t “right”) I decided I would go with it.

The next morning, I started at the top of the list and worked my way down like normal. When I got to a household chore, I got up from my desk, did it, crossed it off and moved on. By noon, I magically had all of the work done and my chores were done for the day!

Don’t Obsess Over Your Time

Thinking back, part of the problem is I was spending so much energy obsessing on how much I had to get done by a certain time that I wasn’t doing it. Once I had everything for the day listed, it was easy to get to work and I didn’t worry. In a way, I think doing that brain dump and having work and home projects combined on one list broke down the wall that I was trying to build because everyone told me that I needed to set boundaries in order to succeed.

Plan Your Time With Your Life in Mind

It makes sense that I wouldn’t do well with the rigid schedule I was trying to set for myself. I’m not a schedule girl, I’m a go with the flow girl. So how does it make sense that I would succeed by putting myself into a situation that is completely unnatural to me?

I still agree that you have to have discipline to make working from home work, but just like every parent has different views on how to discipline their children, every business person needs to decide what discipline in their home/professional life looks like. Apparently, for me, discipline is a flowing list where everything runs together but I have goals in mind for what time I want to be done with everything and give myself to my family for the rest of the day.

What obstacles have you run into trying to make working from home work for you?

Today, a friend I love dearly posted a link to an article that describes why the author (and many others) will not read Fifty Shades of Grey for religious reasons.  I do consider myself a Christian, I did read the books, and I’m not ashamed to say so!

For those who have been living under a rock for the past few months, Fifty Shades of Grey, is a trilogy by breakout author E.L. James, who I like to think of as the JK Rowland for moms. Yes, I’m sure there are men out there who’ve read the books as well, but let’s face it, that’s not the demographic Ms. James had in mind when she wrote the books. Unfortunately, it has forever been classified as “mommy porn” and many have been turned off (pardon the pun) solely based on what they’re reading about it on the internet.

The Storyline Isn’t Bad

Roll your eyes if you’d like, but almost a month after reading the trilogy, I can’t recount the steamy scenes, but I can tell you that I enjoyed the story that took place outside of the bedroom. And by outside the bedroom, I don’t mean inside the Red Room of Pain (which those who haven’t read may not understand). There was tension, there was action, and I could see those parts making it a good date night movie. Speaking of which, yes, the movie rights for Fifty Shades of Grey have been purchased and there will likely be a movie at some point. That should tell you that there’s more to the books than filth and smut.

Do You Watch Romantic Comedies?

Those who will watch romantic movies and think they’re fine are just as “wrong” as those of us who read the books and don’t have a problem with our faith. In many ways, the books and movies that promise love, romance and the perfect marriage are almost more damaging. Do women not lust after the perfect guy portrayed by a big name actor? If you’re truly viewing this from a Biblical perspective, that’s no better than reading a steamy book that involves sex scenes. Oh, and many of those movies also have sex scenes in them…

Not once did I wish we could build a BDSM lair in our home after reading the books. Was I stimulated? Yes, and more on why THAT isn’t a bad thing in just a bit. On the other hand, I have fallen prey to wishing my husband was more romantic, doing the little things only movie characters do and wishing that my marriage was different. That is what caused issues in our marriage.

Awakening the Sedated Beast

It’s not secret that I battle with my depression, and even that battle can cause problems. One of those problems is the fact that the medication I am on is made to level out my moods. What this means is I don’t feel the lows of depression, but the price for that is not being able to feel the highs. Everything in life is at a steady level for me.

How does that have to do with this book? Do you know how awful it feels to love and adore your husband but have no sexual drive whatsoever? It feels like crap. And that makes things worse. And then he gets upset because I’m upset and then I get mad that he’s taking it personally and the cycle begins.

As I said before, yes, the books can be steamy and stimulating at times. In those times, I turned to the man who I am supposed to turn to for that satisfaction and for a little while, we had nights without tension in the bedroom, whether or not there was anything sexual going on. I wasn’t on edge about whether or not he’d want to be affectionate and he wasn’t walking (or laying) on eggshells, wondering how I would react if he was affectionate.

It’s a Work of Fiction

This may be the biggest reason I refuse to feel shame for reading the books. Right now, we’re working on making sure Mack knows that what she sees on TV is fake. Good or bad, it’s not real. Just as I don’t have a problem with my daughter watching Harry Potter because it’s not real, I don’t have a problem reading the books.

The funny thing is, those who do live a BDSM lifestyle are in an uproar because the depiction of the lifestyle is completely twisted and factually incorrect. I would tell them the same thing! I didn’t read the books to get a factual account of what it would be like to live that lifestyle, I started reading them on a recommendation from a friend and kept reading to see what happened.

Read the books, don’t read the books, do what you like. What I would like to see, however, is for people to stop making judgments based on what they do not know, and that’s not just about a book.